Goodbye Sweet Olive

Back in 2006 I rescued a very small kitten off the side of the Billy Graham Parkway in Charlotte. We named her Olive. She was so loving, playful and affectionate. She quickly stole our hearts. It is hard to believe that she is gone so soon. She was just 11 years old.

I know a lot of people deal with the loss of a pet in different ways. Certainly to many the loss of a pet isn't the same as the loss of a child. In reality, there is no comparison. However, for many years I lived as a childless man. To me and my first wife our cats were our surrogate children. When one of them passes away, it is never easy.

Since my ex-wife and I have separated and eventually divorced two of the five cats we had together have passed away. Ginger in 2015 and now Olive in 2017. I have felt each death very deeply. Not only because I cared very much for them, but also because when I made the decision to leave and move out on my own, I feel that I have abandoned them. It is something that I feel guilty about almost every day.

I dread news like I received yesterday. It is never easy to find out that one of your little fur babies has passed. It is doubly hard when you feel guilty for not being there.

So most of the evening, after I received the news, I spent  digging through online albums that had pictures of Olive in them. It wasn't easy, as I have thousands of pictures stored on the cloud. But I needed to grieve, in my own way. I needed to say goodbye to olive. I needed to work through the pain I was feeling in the core of my being.

It is hard to do something like this, as along with pictures of Olive, I was reliving other images. Painful reminders of how things were. How things used to be before the divorce. I also had to deal with the decisions I made, that have been life changing for me. I had to face my demons all over again.

My wife Jo is upstairs in bed. I know she is hoping I can put all of this behind me quickly. It is after midnight and I have a very busy day tomorrow. I need to put this all behind me too. Don't read this and think that I am having a change of heart about the direction of my life. I love my new family. I don't regret for a minute marring Jo and becoming a step-dad to two wonderful boys. But that doesn't mean that I am a rock that never feels pain or that I can just forget the first half of my life.

God and I have been working all this out since 2013. It has been a real struggle for me. I feel I am more at peace today, than I have ever been. But to pretend that this news didn't cause a setback, would be to deny how special Olive was to me, and I will not do that.

The rest of this post will be pictures and video of Olive. I leave it here as a memorial to her. Rest well my sweet girl. Dad is sad to hear that you are gone. Thank you for being such a special part of my life! I am so sorry I wasn't there when you needed me most!

\

Miss Queen Tortie


Beating up the Kickeroo


Chilling on a Sunday


Just being chill


Love her eyes!


So beautiful


Hanging 10


All tuckered out from play.


WWE with Cats


Cracking each other up!


Rolling around. 


Nap time with Samson.


YAWN


Checker and Olive


No sense of shame!


Window seat


What was that noise?


Newly redecorated room!



More play and less everything else!


I don't always sit pretty, wait, yes I do!


Olive on her last day June 28th, 2017



Olive's first day with us. 


Olive hanging out with me on a Sunday.


Olive Playing Fetch


Olive and Sunny hanging out. 


Olive joins our cats at play. 

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